Mission Accomplished

Well, this morning was the marathon. I was excited, just ready to get started. The forecast included rain every hour, but those forecasters were wrong. The weather was absolutely perfect to run in, although the spectators were freezing. I saw the sunrise over a gorgeous Lake Michigan, and about an hour into the race, as the sun was high enough to start really heating things up, it went behind clouds and kept things cool. I even put a long sleeve shirt back on near the end of the race, something I pretty much never do. You probably don't care about that boring stuff though.

The actual race started really well for me. It felt good to be running again after tapering for awhile. I knew I was going at a faster pace than I thought I could keep up, but I just couldn't make myself slow down by more than 10 or 20 seconds per mile. The first half of the race went really well. If I had just been running a half marathon, it would have been a great one, probably a PR (personal record). At mile 12 the half marathoners turned around and finished their last 1.1 miles. That left the course very empty, which killed me because all the energy left with those guys. I found a group of runners, though, and started chatting with people, and things turned back around. The last 5 miles were really hard, but with some soul searching and a little hating all things that have to do with running, I somehow finished.

My favorite uplifters were the chants and cheers and music from the spectators and volunteers. It is amazing how hearing some cheers and cow bells could make my legs move faster. There was a guy playing a djembe (hand drum), he gets the award for best male spectator. Three sisters tie for best female spectators. They were in elementary school, and kept popping up at various points to cheer on their mom. They may be hoarse tomorrow, but they were the most supportive and always wanted high fives as I passed. If you know of a race coming up near you, please go and bring a cow bell or a drum or color a poster (best poster: "Smile if you aren't wearing underwear." Who could not smile when you read that, regardless of what you are or are not wearing?) Runners will really appreciate your enthusiasm, even if you don't know anyone who is running.

In my experience, your race time is really important to people. It's usually the first question people ask. Kind of like when you finish a soccer game, football game, etc. and people just want to know if you won. It's also often the first information that runners offer. Two of my friends decided not to tell what times they got on their marathon last fall, because they decided it wasn't about that for them. I have been thinking the same thing. I was very pleased with my time. I did much better than I expected to, and I am proud of my time. But I am not going to talk about it for now. If it is anything like my half marathons, I may forget the time within a few weeks or months anyway. If you really want to know, I am sure you will find a way to figure it out. But that's up to you, and I'd appreciate it if you don't post it on facebook :-)

As I've written before, I started this journey for the purpose of running a marathon. That was what it was all about. The end product. I wanted to do it before I turn 30. I didn't believe I could do it, but I wanted to try. I had some unexpected results. There's a cliche about things being about the journey instead of the end product. I really found the journey to be the most important thing. Parts of the race itself were a blur, and it kind of all runs together in my head already, only a few hours afterwards. But I haven't forgotten the lessons I learned about myself both today and through the training, and I hope I don't forget them. You can read more about that here and here.

Lessons today included finding more strength when I went way beyond whatever abilities I thought I had. My friend Dan told me that it isn't supposed to easy, and I had some time to think about that today. I found that comforting during the last half of the race, remembering that I have trained for this, and I can do it, but it won't be easy. I also found myself looking at people who were walking and looking kind of awful, and I saw that they were stronger than they thought they were. So I told them that. "You're stronger than you think you are right now. You can do this. You have it in you..." I said it a few times, but then I had to tell myself that same thing in the last few miles (numerous times). And it did help me to keep putting one foot in front of the other because of the lessons I had learned during training.

I am sore. I was sore before I even finished running. I look like an arthritic grandma when I walk, use stairs, or try to sit down or stand up. That will go away. But if you see me around, you can make fun of the way I walk this week. I will smile and be proud of myself for forcing those legs to keep moving so that I could finish my first marathon.

Thanks for reading these blog posts. Thanks for donating to Feed My Starving Children (for more info on that, read here.) Thanks for your support and facebook messages and text messages and emails, etc. I really appreciate it.

20 miles, reaching goals, changing me

SUPERFICIAL UPDATE: I finished my biggest week of training successfully! It was a great week. I was able to get in all of my runs, I had a fantastic 10 miler, and the 20 mile run was much better than I anticipated. I spent it mostly listening to my special long run playlist full of my favorite tunes. I also spent the time thinking about life, which I often do while running, which is one of the reasons why I like running.

A LITTLE BIT DEEPER UPDATE: I realized during my 20 mile run that only a year ago I was just beginning my masters program, felt torn between two worlds with culture shock and the adjustment back into the United States, and wasn't running or exercising much at all. A year ago I still felt new in my job and felt like I had FOREVER left to go in meeting my next goal of getting a teaching certificate...which was frustrating because I felt like I was trapped until I completed it.

Now I am almost done with my masters/teaching certificate. I have two more classes over the summer, then student teaching, then I am "free". (I don't necessarily feel so trapped anymore, but it will be nice not to be in school anymore). I have gone from being unsure if I am a runner, unsure if I can be worthy of that name anymore, unsure if I can handle running at all...to feeling like a runner and living like a runner. I don't even know what definition I place behind that word anymore, but today I would say that I am a runner, and I am proud of that again.

However, these accomplishments over the last year, none of which have a tangible end yet, are signs of a deeper change as well. I'm not married, I don't have kids, I don't have a full time job, and I have spent my adult life doing things that I feel passionate about and led to do. I have done a lot of experiencing, but I never felt like I had done a lot of "growing up." While I still haven't taken on those large responsibilities of raising a family, (although I have taken on the large responsibility of student loans ;-), I do feel like I have come into my own a little bit more this past year and a half. I'm starting to feel like I have a better understanding of what I am capable of, and I feel like I fit into my own skin a little bit better. I don't know quite how to describe it, but as I ran 20 miles on Thursday, striving to accomplish something I've never done before, nor never thought I could do, I realized that I am stronger than I knew.

I also realized that this potential lies in everyone. While I do believe that most anyone COULD run or walk a marathon, that's not exactly what I am talking about. I mean that you have the potential to be things you only dreamed about, to do things you wanted to but never thought you could. You have this potential. So what stops us? While I do see so many people who dream their dreams, work super hard to accomplish them, and then enjoy that success, the reality is that I also encounter many people who don't believe that THEY could ever do this.

"That's good for you, but I could never do that," I have heard said.

No? Do you mean that you could never run a marathon, or you could never dream something, work really hard, make the mental switch somewhere along the way, and realize that you in fact had that potential the whole time?

I spoke to a man today who had been trying to lose weight for years, and now he needs to because he is super close to being diagnosed with diabetes. He is opting not to have stomach surgery, because he is going to try some more to do it the natural way, even though he has failed day after day in this goal.

And you know what? With my entire being I believe that he can do it. It isn't an impossible goal. The fact that he has failed to lose weight in the past does NOT mean that he cannot lose weight in the future. Meeting his goal will require committment and perseverance and a mental switch. There is a switch that takes place, when, after eating healthier foods for a period of time, greasy or fattening foods start sounding less and less appetizing. There is a switch that happens when you stop having that soda/chocolate/snack/etc every day, you stop needing it every day, and then you even stop wanting it every day. There is a switch that happens after you start a training schedule and every day you have to make the difficult choice to do today's task to the day when you just know that on these days you do this exercise, and you can do it and your body feels better when you do it and you actually end up liking it.

That switch does happen. But it takes time and you must make a lot of little choices toward your goal before that switch happens. (You have to continue making the little choices after the switch, too, but there is a different motivation behind them.)

Meeting a goal is not about one giant leap, one life-changing moment in time, getting to that impossible-to-reach light at the end of the tunnel.

Meeting goals is about the sum of many tiny choices. Goals are accomplished by making one small change, and then another, and then another, until that change becomes a habit, a lifestyle. The change becomes a little bit easier, a lit less daunting.

So yes, I ran 20 miles on Thursday. And yes, I asked myself if I had it in me to add 6.2 more miles onto that in three weeks at the marathon. (Yes, I do have it in me.) Yes, I have completed the longest long run of my training, and now I begin to taper back on mileage as I wait for the marathon.

But this run and this training have been about so much more than the race itself. My end goal of running a marathon, a lifelong dream, has kind of paled as I realized what a blessing the journey has been. I have rediscovered myself as a runner. I have reinvented myself as a person who actually can set goals, commit to them, work hard, and reach them. I have seen myself slowly turning into an adult. And I have realized that within me I house a whole bunch of potential to accomplish any dream I decide to pursue. I will not write things off as impossible anymore.

And THAT journey has been worth it.

18 miles and a great donation!

I totally don't have time to write right now, but I wanted to update that I got a great donation from a great man who is also running the same marathon! Woohoo! (I've had it for awhile but due to some issues I needed to work out, you couldn't see it on my ChipIn. Issues are all cleared up :-)

ALSO, I ran 18 miles today. It was my longest run ever, both by time and mileage. It wasn't easy, and I began planning for how I would add 8.2 more miles come May 7th at the marathon. I think some planned walking breaks, even if just to savor the water at the water stations, will be needed. I saw a small herd of deer and scared some geese along the way. I also saw a lot of people out, a sign of spring break and the approaching end of wintery weather...I didn't even regret not running with my gloves today. I won't even be able to remember all this cold weather tomorrow when I land in Fort Lauderdale! I am so blessed to be able to go there for work. I love my job.

Favorite songs to run to today: Glitter, by Pink, and the Glee version of Bohemian Rhapsody.

OK, gotta go! I'll check back in soon.